The best gift you give yourself

What is the best gift you’ll ever give yourself?

Forgiveness.

Why is this true?

Because when you forgive or let go of any type of disempowering inner dialogue, you let go of the false belief you’re a victim.

When that feeling of victimhood dissolves within you, your whole body relaxes into a new state of calm. This calmness allows deep trust that you are your authentic nature of love and not a reactive programmed mind conditioned from birth.

Which choice feels better?

Authentic love. Always. It seems to melt the hardened heart and the body reaction is peace within. You no longer resist or fight to control anything. Forgiveness does that for you.

The mental story is exhausting and most of the time much more dramatic than the original incident. It always creates the other person as a thoughtless bully that doesn’t care about you or anyone but themselves. But the real devastation is the story traps your mind by retelling it over and over creating a looping momentum through feelings, each stronger than the last.

Thoughts create reality through their very real electrical charges. Without forgiveness, before long, you’ll notice that you don’t feel so great inside, the sun doesn’t seem as shiny bright, no one seems as friendly to you, and nothing seems as fun as it did. Do you know what I mean?

I’ve learned to not only forgive the other person, but to forgive myself first for the inner story and whatever role I played in the experience. 

To be clear, when I forgive someone for things that hurt, it doesn’t mean I go along with their behavior. I forgive them for me so I can let go of the mental story playing in my head about how they “done me wrong” so I’m free of the conditioned mind and can focus on what feels good and right for me.

As an example, I’ve known my husband for 51 years. We’ve been married for 45. I’d say we know one another fairly well, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have to consistently work on how we relate to one another if we want to continue creating a marriage we both actually want.

Sometimes we get hurt feelings. This happened to me recently during that powerful April full moon. My mind created a story and I wasn’t even trying to shake it lose. I went down a rabbit hole, a deep one that lasted a week off and on. I thought some pretty dark things about how “I’m done with this behavior of his. I don’t need this. I’m out of here.” 

I bet most of us can relate to this old tale. The more I thought these things, the quieter it got in our house. Pretty soon we were each too busy for the other.

Until I finally realized that the story I was telling myself had literally removed me from my married life. I then began thinking about what I really wanted and it wasn’t that. I simply wanted to be heard, seen, and appreciated by my hubby. You know, simple stuff like: thanks for supper, hey do you need a little help, how was your day. Things I’m betting all of us want.

So, I focused on the things I wanted instead. I held my arms wide open in front of my hubby while he was reading the paper and stood there smiling. “Hi,” I said. “I’d like a hug. A hug from you because you’re my person.”

He gave me a weird look, then grinned. Got up and hugged me and that was that. From that moment on, he’s been thanking me for supper, has been helping me with yardwork, and wants to talk about the day.

Why is he doing this? Because he wants all these things too. But the weirdest thing was he told me that while we weren’t getting along, he had two nightmares during sleep. One was that he came home from work and I had left him, and he had no idea why. The other was I told him “I’m out of here,” and left to go live somewhere else. 

We are all becoming more telepathic. On some level, we can all hear one another. Use your gift of forgiveness for yourself and others every day and often. Allow yourself to melt your heart by forgiving whatever mental story plays in your head and decide what you really want and focus your power there. Be free of the conditioned mind. Be you. Really you.     

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